EXPLANATION OF STAN PLAN

alot of people have asked about the dog and the plan and a party. dear lord.....okay so we found a home for the dog. the plan failed. nothing is clean and i am leaving. and about the party although i would love to be there i will be in vegas. after the wedding i leave saturday for vegas. i will bring pictures and stories. but yes everything failed. house cleaner but still dirty. and it's thursday and i have got to go to norman....so see u at the wedding until then.

HARRY POTTER

harry potter !!!!!!! why am i obsessed with harry potter !!!!!!! i have been listening to it non stop since i got the audio book. also i thought i would have fun with this post. it's short an sweet, but i think it will be fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah HARYY POTTER or harry potter. however u want to look at it!!!!

PLAN STAN

here is my plan i stole it from stan. he is brilliant. to properly display his ideas i needed assistance so i created a demographic of his theory.

okay so this is my place of residence. now in other news the dog is gone. diana officially has no more school, and has devised a plan. house needs to be cleaned and desmellified. and i am grounded. if i am going to be here for hours on end i should be in a haven. not a hell. we will clean the house spotless in 3 days. that is all i have left.

SUNDAY: clean my room and the bathroom
MONDAY: attack the kitchen
TUESDAY: dining room and living room

i hope i can do it.

U CAN DO IT!!!!

GROUNDED

u would think that now being 21 years old and living on my own. (well, not really i live with my sister but without my parents, but my mom can't leave the 2 of us alone) i have personally decided to ground myself. although at the same time i don't really have a choice. i don't have a car. and i don't have money. this will be a hard post to write, but it is important me to admit this. the first step into fixing a problem is to admit u have one. my problem is i like to eat. but eating costs money. and now i am broke. even more broke than i was when i was out of work for 1 month 1/2. don't know what happened. but i have got to fix this. i have failed. so first step is rehab. i figured if i don't go anywhere except for work and vegas i will save money. now this might sound funny but i have already paid for my trip to vegas, so i have to go. but i am going with out a penny in my pocket. i will not be going to bowling on wed. for at least until i get a second job. which i can't get until i come back from vegas. kyle knows that if we want to see each other it's up to him to pick me up, since i won't let anyone in my house we would actually have to go out on a date. or he could kidnap me back up to his place. i also am going sell my stocks. i have tried so hard to keep them, but i need the money to pay for rent. and what is worse is that besides taking off 10 days of work. they have lowered my hours. from 40 -30. that's over 150 dollars less than normal on my paycheck. i don't know why i am telling everyone all this, but i think it is because i have been unwilling to talk about it at all. not to kyle, mom or dad, or even renee'. and my money problems concerns her the most. i even told ashley that i was unable to pay for my bridesmaid dress. i think that was the hardest. no, the hardest was having kyle tell me that he would loan me more money. but i owe him so much money that i can't even put it in this blog. let's just say that he calls it a down payment for my wedding. he helps me so much. he is a good man. anyway, so their u go. just don't invite me to anything and i won't feel so bad about not having money.

CRYSTAL'S PARTY

i didn't leave until 5:30. rachel, crystal, fotini, and kyle (but not my kyle) had fun. we hung out on the balcony and played dominoes. anyways so i decided to leave. and the story begins.

it was cool morning as i shivered to my car. i should have brought a jacket, diana thought to herself. although she looked stunningly in her bright blue speggetti strap, she still fumbeled in her backseat for a sweater. pants, socks, and "oh, that's where that bra went" diana observes out loud. but alas no long sleeved-shirt or sweater. so she climbs back into the drivers seat and starts the car. the airconditionar blasts into her face. she shakes violently while trying to change it to the heater mode. she succeeds and bursts out a sigh of relief. because it's 5:30 in the morning no good music is on. so she starts driving while humming a tune. she drives, and drives, then suddenly her car sound funny. she looks down at the spedametor. everything was was going crazy, before she had a chance to slow down the unbelievable happened. her car died. in the middle of now where, without her cell phone. she paniced. locked doors and began to cry. "this is why I had a cellphone" she thought angerly. but her sister had it. she breathed and tried her car. it started. "whoooh!!!" she shouts. she starts driving, but when she got over 5 miles an hour it died. "NOOOOO!" she takes a deep breathe. starts her car. it started. she decided to not go over 5 miles an hour and try to get to a gas station. 40 painfully minutes of driving 5 miles an hour she reaches a gas station. she runs in the gas station in tears and asks the guy if she could borrow a phone. he pointed her towards the phone. "but i have no money"diana cries even harder. then a nice man then opened up the cash drawer and handed her 50 cents. she ran outside but didn't know who to call. she only new her phone number. so she tried it. and to her relief her sister answers. after the phone conversation she runs inside. she was quite cold. the nice gas man offered her a free cup of coffee. and she took it, guiltily. then she suddenly remembered that although renee' had her cell phone, she had her wallet. she ran to the man and handed him a 10 dollars bill to pay for the coffee and the phone call. the man just smilled. "no, don't worry about it." he said. "just get home." and with that her sister pulls up and she runs out of the shop shouting "thanks".

WELL IT'S BEEN AWHILE

even though i have tons of stories to write i haven't been in the mood. kyle says that my moods have a huge impact on my personality. when i told him i wasn't in the mood to write a post he said that it's no different from not being in the mood for sex. so i asked him how he gets me in the mood when i am not. he said that if he told me he would have to kill me and that i am too cute to be a casualty a war. i eventually got it out of him though. he said it's music. he has certain types of music he plays to get me in moods. which makes since now!!! clasic rock music for putting me in a good mood. like queen and areosmith!!!! country music for cuddely-time. clasical music for quite time. rap music for....yeah. and r&b or hip-hop for a playfulness side of me. so i put on some clasic rock and boom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am ready to write so their will be a burst of posts. but i hope u enjoy them all!!!!

PETITION

it was brought to my attention that ben stien has a reason to be famous. but i will not change it unless there is more than one person who wishes it. so all in favor of exchanging ben stein for jared the subway guy say AYE!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I DON'T HAVE A PICTURE LIKE LIZ BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOP TEN OF THE MOST FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT BE FAMOUS

SCROLL DOWN SLOWLY TO READ EACH NAME INDIVIDUALLY





10.Carson daily- TRL?? why is he famous










9. Ryan secresast-American idol my ass









8. Bobby Brown- attempted a music carreer and married a druggie












7. Ben Stein- CLEAR EYES











6. Carrot Top- RED HAIR ( i wish i could be famous for red hair)











5. Vanna White- let me flip letters and wear cute clothes










4. Monika Luinsky-let me have sex and get famous for it













3. Kevin Feterline- let me marry a pop star and get her knocked up twice











2. Dr. phil- why just why is he famous











1. Paris Hilton- um...yeah........why again?

MOTHER'S DAY

what is mothers day?.....it is a day to celebrate mothers.

what makes a mother?.....most people say a definition of a mother is (taken from www.dictionary.com)

A woman who conceives, gives birth to, or raises and nurtures a child.

but i say a mother is someone who tells u what to do, and happens to be female.


so in honor of mother's day i would like to give a shout out of thanks too.....

crystal
renee'
heather
my real mom
ashley
tabz
liz

H A P P Y M O T H E R ' S D A Y ! ! ! !

DI-ISH YET UN-DI-ISH

here is my philosophical thought for the year. i always here remarks such as that's just you, or very di-ish. or a very diana thing to do. which I DO NOT DENY. for some strange reason i do things that other do not. but then i think of my people. you know, the people who read this blog thing excluding kyle of course. we all do things that are very...um......like megan does megan things, and tabz does definite tabz thing. and richard is richard. but my question is what makes us......us. is it our name, is it our hair. is it our glasses or height. although these are physical things, i think they have a huge impact on our personality. i mean i am very proud at my red hair. well....i was until it went blon-brown-color. but it is back, my red hair. i am just curious. and what is crystal without her pink color surounding her. crystal is pink-and pink is crystal. oh well..... retorichal questions?

CARS

..............................OKAY THIS IS GOING TO GET REALLY CONFUSING SO U MIGHT HAVE TO READ IT 3 TIMES....................................


okay so my family and i have touble with cars. which is kina funny since my dad is our mechanic. he can fix almost anything, because he worked on a farm. my dad fixed most of the things on the farm. but i don't think that is the point. so i will explain to u the car predicament up to today. which is partially why i am writing this blog. okay so once upon a time when diana turned 16. there were 3 cars. a car mom drove called THE COUGAR, and two trucks that dad had. THE RED TRUCK he drove to work on a daily basis and tried not to use it unless we needed too. see the red truck was born in 1979. my dad tried to repair it and even tried to give it a paint job. but the truck was breaking down far too quickly to be brought up to modern standards and the paint job just left the truck with a skin disease that had a red background and pink sploches. THE BLUE TRUCK he worked on diligently. or when ever he wasn't working in our vegitable garden. or on the house. or running errands for my mom. or working overtime on weekends. THE BLUE TRUCK was my grandfathers. it was the last thing he gave too my dad before he died. dad refuses to part with it. but my grandfather, although a genius, somehow proved that duck tape can hold a truck together. but my dad decided that it was time to rebuild it. i turned 16 and drove my dads truck. but my family and i quickly decided that i needed my own car. with my dad working days. my mom working nights. and i working afternoons. the whole 2 automobile thing wasn't working and my dad predicted that it would take awhile to get THE BLUE TRUCK running. so i bought a car for $600 called THE DODGE. it worked great until i crashed it. THE DODGE was beyond repair. so i bought a new car from rachel called THE HONDA. but i then ruined it (didn't crash it for the record, it just died) in my freshman year in college. so my parents gave me a car. with the stipulation that i graduate college. this car was called THE OLDSMOBILE. but my dad had a problem. althought i had the OLDSMOBILE up with me in edmond. he sill had THE BLUE TRUCK, THE RED TRUCK, THE COUGAR, THE DODGE, AND THE HONDA. too many cars for one drive way. but my sister turned 16. so my dad tried to repair the dodge, but it was just too damaged. my dad found an old mechanic that wanted to by THE HONDA for very cheep, so my dad sold it. my cousin kacy gave us her old car for my sister to use called THE TOYOTA. (AKA THE PIECE OF CRAP THAT SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE). she paid to fix it up and the car was hers. then a crisis. my moms car died as well. my mom had to have her own car so my aunt maryann gave my parents her old car. she had just bought 2 new cars one for her and one for her husband. they each still had their old vehicles. this car is sadly called THE OLDSMOBILE. so now u might get kon-fused but i will try to fix it. for the point of my story i will say my car is the white oldsmobile. but my aunt's car is a white oldsmobile. so i will call mine the achieva. but wait hers is an achieva too. okay my car is THE OLDSMOBILE. and hers is THE OLDSMOBILE the 2ND. okay now a full recap. my dad has 2 truck THE RED TRUCK and THE BLUE TRUCK. i have 2 cars THE DODGE and THE OLDSMOBILE. my mom has 2 cars THE COUGAR, an THE OLDSMOBILE the 2ND and renee' has THE PIECE OF CRAP THAT SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE. this means that my dads house looked like this...............................


of course that is what the house looked like when i visited.

but then stuff hapened. heather became 16. and she needed a car. so she paid and fixed up THE COUGAR. and THE RED TRUCK died. but now my dad needed a car. so my aunt gave him another car. THE PURPLE TRUCK. so the house looks like this on holidays.


it looks like a billion people at our house. but today my car is dead. but hopefully daddy can fix it. if not this is what i predict.


so this is my family's car problems. and now my problem. lets hope i don't have to get a new used car.

CRAP

okay so i have been gone from the internet world for a couple of days. i come back to find no comments. well, none worthy of doing a random shit segment on. so i decided to take a pole.

a. has my blog been that boring

or

b. have they been so random your speechless

or

c. other/ newyork absatins courtesly/ haven't read/ misc.

so answer this pole please. but in your comments write just the letter that agree's with your statement. and then for my next post we will do precentages. yeah math!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PARTY?

It is now1:00 am do you know where you friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other is? Well, I do. Damn, it is getting hot in here, think I'll take off all my clothes, well, not really, but damn, the party is over here. As I look over my shoulder, I see several glasses, rims half lined with salt, at least a dozen cans lying around, a few empty pizza boxes, and a couple of girls passed out on the couches. On the counter, there are several bottle of Captain, most empty, a few things for margharittas, and some other assorted glass bottles.

The music is loud, and dancable, and the world is all sorts of fun. Happy Cinco de Mayo!! Boys, girls, men especially - the more the better. Everybody who is anybody is here*.

Okay so how many people are intoxicated. Let us count them.

1.
2.
3.
4.

see. you can do basic math. yeah!!!! u deserve a drink. how about a capatin and cherry coke. a marg on the rocks or a bloody mary. for crying out loud we have vodka teciula and rum. oooh lets play a game. if you can correctly answer you win a prize.
1. name the place we are partying at

can you guess?

2. how about who is here?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

if u get it right u get a cookie.

Next question.
3. how many empty bottles of Captain are there?

That one gets you a drink on the house... just not this house. I'm a little bit too scared of heights to give it to you on the roof.

4. if you were a straw, what angle would you be bent at?

5. who wrote this post?



6. Of the 16 glass bottles out how many of them are open? I'll give you a hint... it's not 16.

7. If you were a movie, what movie would you be?

8. If you were drunk, what drink would you be?

9. If you weren't drunk, what drink would you wish to be?

10. if you were a penguin, what would you think of antartica?


do u think u know but u have no idea. none. nope. no hope. so run, run away. don't look back

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*excepting Crystal, who had to work.

CINCO DE MAYO

HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER

EVERYONE HAVE A DRINK for cinco de mayo is like saint patricks day...................a national drinking holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GEORGE

i have possesed di's body and i am using her and her blog to relay a message....................

hola. ah, hmm. the fortune cookie never lies. it's doesn't lie. never once because it's a fortune cookie. i finished up my into to computers class. but i still have chem and trig and spanish finals all next week. i am not like di and have no more school. and visit my myspace. wait i tried to visit it and aparently i don't exsist. but this 100 yeal old guy has this really cool blog, even though he has been dead for 30 years it's awesome http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=15387039. anyway this george signing off. see u guys may 17th.

QUICK II

does anyone know how to stream a video on ones blog?

................please contact me during regular im hours...................

SCHOOL

school is done
school is gone
school was fun
and i won
i didn't die
lie down in defeat
at least tried
i didn't get beat
party i will
fun i shall have
and work to pay bills
and it will be fab
summer is here
and so is the heat
so have a good chear
and protect ur feet

REFLECTION

when will my reflection show who i am inside............................

i am still working on it...........................

i know you don't care and will forget about it..............................

but i won't.........................

-sorry-

MARGARITA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Are a Margarita

You aren't just the life of the party, you are the party! You mix a good drink, bust out some great music, and know how to get down.

What Mixed Drink Are You?

WORD OF THE WEEK

is this not the best description of my personality or what?

temerity \tuh-MER-uh-tee\, noun:Unreasonable or foolhardy contempt of danger; rashness.

SOMETHING

okay so i had a boring day and was speechless. i didn't know what to write in my blog. so i decided i would search the internet for something cool and i think i found it.........or at least i found something.

10 MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A WOMAN'S LIFE

i was emailed this and although it is a bit raunchy, i thought that in somecases it is true. minus the milkman.

THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A WOMAN'S LIFE ,

1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes"

2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"

3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown.

4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"

5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in,you'll love it."

6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest"

7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em"

8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.

9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice andalways eats what he shoots.

STORY

okay this is a story about work again. but i thought it was funny. i work in cosmetics. in case u are not sure what i do......................

Beauty Advisor

Beauty Advisors provide customers with cosmetic service, and information about products and are eligible to earn extra income incentives for selling designated merchandise. In addition, Beauty Advisors are responsible for:
Maintaining your department's records, inventories and appearance
Entering sales on the cash register and customer service. Constructing and maintaining promotional, seasonal and sale merchandise displays.

okay so i get a phone call. "COSMETICS LINE 1 PLEASE COSMETICS LINE 1" and here is my conversation.................................

(exagerated and not quoted word for word due to bad memory of author or need since of comedic timing)

DIANA(me!!!): "This is Diana, how can I help you"
MAN (sounds as old as my dad): "yes i am looking for a product but i am not sure what it is called"
DIANA: "alright sir do you know what the product does"
MAN: "no i am not quite sure either, a friend told me about it"
DIANA: "well i will see what i can do, um try to descibe it to me"
MAN: "i know that it is called either mandlen or manlay or something along those lines"
DIANA: "okay and what type of product is it"
MAN: "well my friend said he got it at this walgreens in the baby aile"
DIANA: "okay so it's for babie"
MAN: "um....no. that's why i was confused. it's used for adults and should be near the condom area"
DIANA:" the condom aile and the baby aile are the same thing, see it takes condoms or lack there of to make a baby so they are together on the same aile"
(i will take time out to explain that i really did say that, maybe not word for word, but pretty damn close)
MAN:"ah i see, but u have never heard of this product?"
DIANA:"no, but that doesn't mean we don't have it. hold on why i go find out"
...................minutes later...........................
DIANA: "okay sir i did find it. it is called mandelay. does that sound about right?"
MAN: "yes, yes it does can you tell me what it does.....wait r u checking out a costomer?"
DIANA: "yes i am"
MAN:"can u put me on hold please, until your done."
DIANA: "okay please hold"
.................several minutes later...............
DIANA: "i have another costomer it will be a minute"
.............more minutes............
DIANA: "okay i am all yours sir, sorry about the wait"
MAN:"ohno, it's alright"
DIANA: "so you wanted to know more about the product"
MAN:"yes"
DIANA:"well according to the package it reads(reading from package word for word)...............Mandelay helps you to prolong sexual pleasure. Helps you stay in control so you and your partner can experience longer lasting sexual enjoyment and improved sexual compatibility."
MAN:"so is it a pill or a liquid"
DIANA:"let me get it out of the package here, um it appears to be a liquid"
MAN:"hmmm.........r you comfortable talking about sex"
DIANA:"yes sir i am, but it appear that it's a gel not a liquid"
MAN:"so do you apply it before"
DIANA:"hmm. the directions say...............(reading package word for word) Apply a small amount to head and shaft of penis before intercourse, or use as directed by a physician. Wash product off after intercourse"
MAN:"and it won't numb the woman"
DIANA: "i am not sure"
MAN: "see i got into this relationship, and i haven't had sex since my ex wife, and i want to impress her"
DIANA: "well the product does have 7.5% benzocaine"
MAN:"i know and that's what i am worried about i don't want to numb her just me"
DIANA:" i don't think u should worry about that too much especially if you let the gel soak into the skin"
MAN:"what would be the best lubercation to use for sex"
DIANA: "well there is only one her at walgreens i would recommend it's called astroglide"
MAN:"i have never heard of it"
DIANA: "well it is a step up from ky jelly"
MAN: "i don't like ky"
DIANA:"i wouldn't recomend it"
MAN:"well what do you use"
DIANA: "i am not sure......i didn't like ky jelly at all, but my boyfriend got some really good stuff at christy's toy box"
MAN:"and you don't remember the name"
DIANA:"nope all i know it that it's tall and clear with a blue lid, but works well"
MAN:" maybe i should go there"
DIANA:"yes, i think you should. they are more current and educated in this particular subject matter than i am, and they have more products to choose from"
MAN:"the last time i went to christy's i was dropping of my wife so she could get her toys"
DIANA:.....akward silence"anything else i can help you with"
MAN: "no you have been very helpful....um whats your name"
DIANA:hesitingly "diana"
MAN:"well thank you diana good night"
DIANA:"you too"


i thought this was one of my weirder stories and thought you guys might enjoy it. in other news........nope that's it. nite