GROUNDED

u would think that now being 21 years old and living on my own. (well, not really i live with my sister but without my parents, but my mom can't leave the 2 of us alone) i have personally decided to ground myself. although at the same time i don't really have a choice. i don't have a car. and i don't have money. this will be a hard post to write, but it is important me to admit this. the first step into fixing a problem is to admit u have one. my problem is i like to eat. but eating costs money. and now i am broke. even more broke than i was when i was out of work for 1 month 1/2. don't know what happened. but i have got to fix this. i have failed. so first step is rehab. i figured if i don't go anywhere except for work and vegas i will save money. now this might sound funny but i have already paid for my trip to vegas, so i have to go. but i am going with out a penny in my pocket. i will not be going to bowling on wed. for at least until i get a second job. which i can't get until i come back from vegas. kyle knows that if we want to see each other it's up to him to pick me up, since i won't let anyone in my house we would actually have to go out on a date. or he could kidnap me back up to his place. i also am going sell my stocks. i have tried so hard to keep them, but i need the money to pay for rent. and what is worse is that besides taking off 10 days of work. they have lowered my hours. from 40 -30. that's over 150 dollars less than normal on my paycheck. i don't know why i am telling everyone all this, but i think it is because i have been unwilling to talk about it at all. not to kyle, mom or dad, or even renee'. and my money problems concerns her the most. i even told ashley that i was unable to pay for my bridesmaid dress. i think that was the hardest. no, the hardest was having kyle tell me that he would loan me more money. but i owe him so much money that i can't even put it in this blog. let's just say that he calls it a down payment for my wedding. he helps me so much. he is a good man. anyway, so their u go. just don't invite me to anything and i won't feel so bad about not having money.