STORY

okay this is a story about work again. but i thought it was funny. i work in cosmetics. in case u are not sure what i do......................

Beauty Advisor

Beauty Advisors provide customers with cosmetic service, and information about products and are eligible to earn extra income incentives for selling designated merchandise. In addition, Beauty Advisors are responsible for:
Maintaining your department's records, inventories and appearance
Entering sales on the cash register and customer service. Constructing and maintaining promotional, seasonal and sale merchandise displays.

okay so i get a phone call. "COSMETICS LINE 1 PLEASE COSMETICS LINE 1" and here is my conversation.................................

(exagerated and not quoted word for word due to bad memory of author or need since of comedic timing)

DIANA(me!!!): "This is Diana, how can I help you"
MAN (sounds as old as my dad): "yes i am looking for a product but i am not sure what it is called"
DIANA: "alright sir do you know what the product does"
MAN: "no i am not quite sure either, a friend told me about it"
DIANA: "well i will see what i can do, um try to descibe it to me"
MAN: "i know that it is called either mandlen or manlay or something along those lines"
DIANA: "okay and what type of product is it"
MAN: "well my friend said he got it at this walgreens in the baby aile"
DIANA: "okay so it's for babie"
MAN: "um....no. that's why i was confused. it's used for adults and should be near the condom area"
DIANA:" the condom aile and the baby aile are the same thing, see it takes condoms or lack there of to make a baby so they are together on the same aile"
(i will take time out to explain that i really did say that, maybe not word for word, but pretty damn close)
MAN:"ah i see, but u have never heard of this product?"
DIANA:"no, but that doesn't mean we don't have it. hold on why i go find out"
...................minutes later...........................
DIANA: "okay sir i did find it. it is called mandelay. does that sound about right?"
MAN: "yes, yes it does can you tell me what it does.....wait r u checking out a costomer?"
DIANA: "yes i am"
MAN:"can u put me on hold please, until your done."
DIANA: "okay please hold"
.................several minutes later...............
DIANA: "i have another costomer it will be a minute"
.............more minutes............
DIANA: "okay i am all yours sir, sorry about the wait"
MAN:"ohno, it's alright"
DIANA: "so you wanted to know more about the product"
MAN:"yes"
DIANA:"well according to the package it reads(reading from package word for word)...............Mandelay helps you to prolong sexual pleasure. Helps you stay in control so you and your partner can experience longer lasting sexual enjoyment and improved sexual compatibility."
MAN:"so is it a pill or a liquid"
DIANA:"let me get it out of the package here, um it appears to be a liquid"
MAN:"hmmm.........r you comfortable talking about sex"
DIANA:"yes sir i am, but it appear that it's a gel not a liquid"
MAN:"so do you apply it before"
DIANA:"hmm. the directions say...............(reading package word for word) Apply a small amount to head and shaft of penis before intercourse, or use as directed by a physician. Wash product off after intercourse"
MAN:"and it won't numb the woman"
DIANA: "i am not sure"
MAN: "see i got into this relationship, and i haven't had sex since my ex wife, and i want to impress her"
DIANA: "well the product does have 7.5% benzocaine"
MAN:"i know and that's what i am worried about i don't want to numb her just me"
DIANA:" i don't think u should worry about that too much especially if you let the gel soak into the skin"
MAN:"what would be the best lubercation to use for sex"
DIANA: "well there is only one her at walgreens i would recommend it's called astroglide"
MAN:"i have never heard of it"
DIANA: "well it is a step up from ky jelly"
MAN: "i don't like ky"
DIANA:"i wouldn't recomend it"
MAN:"well what do you use"
DIANA: "i am not sure......i didn't like ky jelly at all, but my boyfriend got some really good stuff at christy's toy box"
MAN:"and you don't remember the name"
DIANA:"nope all i know it that it's tall and clear with a blue lid, but works well"
MAN:" maybe i should go there"
DIANA:"yes, i think you should. they are more current and educated in this particular subject matter than i am, and they have more products to choose from"
MAN:"the last time i went to christy's i was dropping of my wife so she could get her toys"
DIANA:.....akward silence"anything else i can help you with"
MAN: "no you have been very helpful....um whats your name"
DIANA:hesitingly "diana"
MAN:"well thank you diana good night"
DIANA:"you too"


i thought this was one of my weirder stories and thought you guys might enjoy it. in other news........nope that's it. nite