DEAR LORD (PLUS THE WORD OF THE WEEK)

wow i know it's a little early and it hasn't been a week but i have a new word of the week.

DISCOMBOBULATED

this is how i feel. and aparently how i have been acting. i am just so tired tired and so frustrated. it feels like i get through one thing, i get er done, and it did nothing. didn't help. because there are a hundred more things left on the list. so u r a good girl, u don't go see ur boyfriend, or watch tv. don't play on the internet (except for writing this blog which doesn't count) u get less than 6 hours of sleep a night (add in 1 or two for a nap, assuming u get it) working 5 more hours a week, and nothing. ur still behind. ur still struggling. when is it going to end. the answer......................never. college will end. but the list won't. it will change to work this, husband (or wife) that, child this, me that. the list will only get bigger and longer and scarier. to the point where i just want to stay shut in my room. not really, i am not there yet. but pretty damn close. i have only felt like that once, sophmore year it was. and i almost did it too. i have come so close to dropping out more than i would like to admit. but i am still here. enrolled in all of my classes, and taking 12 hours mind u. i am involved in 2 productions, and aparently getting drafted into the uco orchestra. i have a boyfriend who is doing everything in his power to make me come-up and see him. i know this is the part where u say tell him to get his ass down to edmond. why do u always drive up there. we have our reason's for the arangement. (the end) i have been crying alot lately. and for no reason. if u ask the food lady at amf bowling she would ask again r u pregnant. evidently it is unnormal for someone to just order and eat pickles. but i am not pregnant i am fat. fat and moody. and upset, and discombobulated. and the time change has screwed me all to hell. i need my hour of fucking sleep. which reminds me i should go to bed now. i have noticed by previous blogs that no one knows that i hide things. so if someone figures it out u will have to tell me.